Hello everyone and welcome to my guide on how to cheat your way to win. You’ve probably read a lot about sportsmanship in Warmachine and Hordes and I’m here to tell you that under the right circumstances, that’s rubbish. Cheating your way to the win is far more reliable and certainly a more satisfying way to go. Don’t like the way your dice keep letting you down? Just reroll them. Think your character jack is a chump next to the other guy’s faction? Just go ahead and use it. Why the heck not? It’s all about winning.
You’re probably thinking to yourself, “What is this guy going on about? Clearly too much superglue sniffing going on.” Well actually, everything I said is true, and even acceptable, provided you are at a Foodmachine event! At Foodmachine events, you are encouraged to cheat your way to the win in the interest of donating as much as you can to your local food charity. It’s a win-win situation.
Hopefully you’ve heard a lot of the promotion around Foodmachine already, but in short, Foodmachine is the Warmachine/Hordes community’s annual canned food drive. This is the 7th year that Privateer Press gamers around the world have held Foodmachine charity events combining their love of gaming with their desire to help the needy. We ask gamers to put on events between November and December each year which means we are in the thick of it right now. We need a lot more events to be put on though, so if you don’t have one scheduled in your area, why not put it on yourself? It’s easy, trust me!
If you go to http://foodmachine.njsobs.com you can find all the information you need to understand what Foodmachine is about and how to get involved. We have a sweet rules pack that you can download that walks your through the process. Find reading a chore? No problem – we have a video that explains it all. Prefer being social? Just visit our Facebook page and start talking with other charity-minded gamers. Baring that, you can email us at email@example.com and we’ll help you along every step of the way.
In addition to contributing to charity and feeling really good about yourself and your hobby, there ae some goodies to get competitive over.
To bodge Foodmachine up to Page 5 standards, Privateer Press has again stepped up as they have in years past with prizes to help recognize the donations. They will be designing custom vinyl banners with their artwork and the names of the winners of each prize category of Foodmachine. Those categories are:
• Most cans donated overall
• Most cans/player
• Single largest individual donating
Additionally, the group that donates the most cans overall will win the traveling Foodmachine trophy:
Email your results to firstname.lastname@example.org so we can keep track of how many events were held and how many cans we collected. For scoring purposes, one “can” is defined as something around 12-14 ounces (350-400 g). The event organizer can count a can as worth 2 “cans” if it is big or small cans as only half a “can”. [To encourage people to bring food other than canned vegetables, you might also count each meat-based can as 2 cans for the purposes of cheating.]
It’s really great to see the numbers going up and every event, no matter how large or small, makes a difference! The winners will be announced in February at Templecon 2013.
Note that this year we are counting results from any Foodmachine event held during the course of 2012. So if you held your event or series of events some time before November 1st, do email us with your results so we can count you in the running.
We have a new prize category to give away this year too. This one comes to us courtesy of Fool’s Trays who has given us 4 of his new and lovely double decker with drawer trays to give away:
They are one of the best fitting trays you can get to hold your models as you move from table to table at your favorite tournament. How do you win one of these bad boys? Just be the person who gave the single largest donation at your Foodmachine event. Then make sure your event organizer emails in the event results. We’ll put all the names we receive into a hat and pull out 4 lucky winners at random. It’s that simple!
Special incentive for non-USA countries
To give countries outside of the USA even more incentive to start getting involved, consider this exciting opportunity to get into the pages of No Quarter magazine. Aeryn Rudel, the editor-in-chief of the magazine, has kindly donated a spread of pages to help reward groups for running an event.
Each non-USA store or club would need to submit a photo that contains the group of players and TOs who participated, preferably standing either in front of their venue or in front of their donation stack. Email the photo along with the name of the venue/club, the city/country, and how many cans of food were donated to foodmachinePP@gmail.com by December 30th and we’ll do the rest. We’ll have room for only about the first 12 entries, so don’t delay with your submission.
That’s a quick introduction to what Foodmachine is all about. We hope you have been inspired to go to your local Foodmachine event, or better yet, start one up. We’d love to hear about how your event goes.